[Did something happen, Luka asks and Carter sinks down in his chair, just visibly slinks, his head disappearing between his shoulders. He's feeling 22 all of a sudden, having to admit to a mistake and knowing when he looks up there'll be Benton's stern face staring back at him.
Worst of all, he's feeling the hypocrisy like a rash burning his skin.
Berating Luka over and over again for aligning with the Stranger, for using his powers, for making all these stupid choices and allowing it to happen in the first place.
It feels like the world is spinning and his face drains, turning paler. He’s never regretted giving up his abilities except for this moment, because right now he feels horrifically powerless.
Afraid.
He wonders if Carter can feel it now. To know that hunger, that need…
He's scaring him and he can feel that and Carter stares at his hand, feeling the fear dance and spin and tingle on the back of his head and in his fingertips.
It's a new sensation, almost alien, like getting a new sense. Except it's not really all that new, is it? Because he knows exactly what it feels like. That hunger, that need. It doesn't come as a shock, it comes as recognition.
He would have preferred the shock.]
I...
[He clings for his hand for support. Or maybe to soak up his fear. He doesn't want to but he can't seem to stop himself and the guilt churns along with the excitement.]
I can do stuff that I couldn't do before. At first I thought it was like... you know. The museum. Something that comes and goes. But... I don't think that's it.
[He’s scaring him and it feels so strange to be on the other side of this. But he can’t help it, can’t stop himself from being afraid, of being terrified of what was happening to Carter, and in some way he supposes he deserves it after everything he’s done.
He squeezes his hand.]
If it hasn’t gone away, it’s probably what you think it is.
[Despite the horror and shame he can't quite help getting a little flustered when he tries to explain.]
I can jump. Uh, well, like, more like, it's more like a leap? Backwards mostly, it, it mostly goes backwards. ... And there's this thing that my hand does, it's like a... thread. That comes out of my hand?
It’s good to learn how it works, how to use it. Not that I’m endorsing using it.
[He knows where that leads.
It’s just.
It’s just that.
It’s just that as weird as it is, this sounds like spider-related powers and also the cutest set of powers he’s ever heard of, and while it’s all very horrifying it also seems to fit Carter very well in a way.]
[Still, he takes his hand and looks it over anyway, though he can no longer remember the names of the muscles and bones, or the layers of skin something may be hiding in.]
Maybe it’s emotional, then? Has anything happened if you were upset for happy?
[Carter watches him and looks down at their hands, Luka's fingers gently moving along his palm. After a moment he reaches out to put his other hand on top, just... holding on for a moment.]
[He squeezes Carter’s hand when he puts his hand on top.]
When I first…when it started, I couldn’t really control it at first. But eventually I could, with practice.
[There’s a pause.]
I was just afraid—I still am. I know you can tell. I want you to feel my fear, and take it. Once you feel that, push that feeling outwards. Like you want to scare me instead.
I can tell, yes. It's like I'm... soaking it up, I don't know how to describe it, I...
[He looks troubled at Luka's suggestion - isn't that the exact opposite of what he should be doing? Isn't feeding your Entity bad? That's what he always argued, incessantly, demandingly. Then again, he can't really keep leaping around uncontrollably or hurt people by accident, can he?
Luka's fear swirls all around him, fills out his head and it feels so good and it makes him so guilty and it's all too much.
If he could just control it-- if he could just stop craving it-- if he could just get away from it--
He suddenly leaps back, away from him, across the room. Taking a nightstand and a chair with him until he's stopped by the opposite wall. It knocks the wind out of him with an oof and then he's down on the ground groaning, a single thread leading over to his hand.]
Yes, you're right. That's exactly what it's like, it--
[That's all he gets out before Carter suddenly leaps, and he's not expecting that at all. Luka startles just as much when the lightstand and chair go with him and he knocks his own chair over, rushing over to Carter's side.]
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 02:37 pm (UTC)From:Worst of all, he's feeling the hypocrisy like a rash burning his skin.
Berating Luka over and over again for aligning with the Stranger, for using his powers, for making all these stupid choices and allowing it to happen in the first place.
Now look at him.]
Yeah.
[He sounds so small. He feels so small.]
Yeah, I... I think it did.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 02:45 pm (UTC)From:It feels like the world is spinning and his face drains, turning paler. He’s never regretted giving up his abilities except for this moment, because right now he feels horrifically powerless.
Afraid.
He wonders if Carter can feel it now. To know that hunger, that need…
He reaches out, for his hand.
He’s not angry.
He’s scared.]
What happened, John?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 02:52 pm (UTC)From:He's scaring him and he can feel that and Carter stares at his hand, feeling the fear dance and spin and tingle on the back of his head and in his fingertips.
It's a new sensation, almost alien, like getting a new sense. Except it's not really all that new, is it? Because he knows exactly what it feels like. That hunger, that need. It doesn't come as a shock, it comes as recognition.
He would have preferred the shock.]
I...
[He clings for his hand for support. Or maybe to soak up his fear. He doesn't want to but he can't seem to stop himself and the guilt churns along with the excitement.]
I can do stuff that I couldn't do before. At first I thought it was like... you know. The museum. Something that comes and goes. But... I don't think that's it.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 02:55 pm (UTC)From:He squeezes his hand.]
If it hasn’t gone away, it’s probably what you think it is.
What can you do?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 03:00 pm (UTC)From:[Right. That.]
I can... Okay, this is gonna sound really stupid.
[Despite the horror and shame he can't quite help getting a little flustered when he tries to explain.]
I can jump. Uh, well, like, more like, it's more like a leap? Backwards mostly, it, it mostly goes backwards. ... And there's this thing that my hand does, it's like a... thread. That comes out of my hand?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 03:09 pm (UTC)From:[A beat.]
Thread.
[You’re getting the buffering face look again.]
Oh.
Can I…can I see?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 03:12 pm (UTC)From:[He frowns, rubbing the back of his neck.]
You know, I don't know. I've... never done it on purpose? The last times it just sort of happened. ... I can try?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 03:15 pm (UTC)From:[He knows where that leads.
It’s just.
It’s just that.
It’s just that as weird as it is, this sounds like spider-related powers and also the cutest set of powers he’s ever heard of, and while it’s all very horrifying it also seems to fit Carter very well in a way.]
I’d like to see.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 03:29 pm (UTC)From:[At least Luka doesn't seem to be... mad? Resentful? There's not even a smug schadenfreude going on here and honestly, it's a relief.
Carter gets up, looking around in the small space.]
I'm not sure what to do. The last time it happened I was... startled into it?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 04:31 am (UTC)From:[Hmm! What a conundrum.]
Can I see your hand?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 05:45 am (UTC)From:[He hesitates, rubbing his fingertips for another moment, but then holds out his hand for him.]
... Yeah, sure. But you're not gonna find anything. I've examined them, nothing. I'm not even sure where the thread is coming from.
["Magic", probably. The infuriating answer to everything around here.]
I can feel it coming out of my hand but...
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 06:20 am (UTC)From:[Still, he takes his hand and looks it over anyway, though he can no longer remember the names of the muscles and bones, or the layers of skin something may be hiding in.]
Maybe it’s emotional, then? Has anything happened if you were upset for happy?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 07:26 am (UTC)From:[Carter watches him and looks down at their hands, Luka's fingers gently moving along his palm. After a moment he reaches out to put his other hand on top, just... holding on for a moment.]
Upset, mostly.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 07:39 am (UTC)From:[He squeezes Carter’s hand when he puts his hand on top.]
When I first…when it started, I couldn’t really control it at first. But eventually I could, with practice.
[There’s a pause.]
I was just afraid—I still am. I know you can tell. I want you to feel my fear, and take it. Once you feel that, push that feeling outwards. Like you want to scare me instead.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 07:50 am (UTC)From:[He looks troubled at Luka's suggestion - isn't that the exact opposite of what he should be doing? Isn't feeding your Entity bad? That's what he always argued, incessantly, demandingly. Then again, he can't really keep leaping around uncontrollably or hurt people by accident, can he?
Luka's fear swirls all around him, fills out his head and it feels so good and it makes him so guilty and it's all too much.
If he could just control it-- if he could just stop craving it-- if he could just get away from it--
He suddenly leaps back, away from him, across the room. Taking a nightstand and a chair with him until he's stopped by the opposite wall. It knocks the wind out of him with an oof and then he's down on the ground groaning, a single thread leading over to his hand.]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-29 08:57 am (UTC)From:[That's all he gets out before Carter suddenly leaps, and he's not expecting that at all. Luka startles just as much when the lightstand and chair go with him and he knocks his own chair over, rushing over to Carter's side.]
Are you okay? I--
[There's a small thread leading to his hand.
That's...yep. A thread.
He stares at it, fascinated.]
You did it!
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 02:40 pm (UTC)From:[Carter sits up, groaning and rubbing the top of his head.]
It's just like last time.
[He looks down at his fingers, a little dismayed.]
I don't get it. I mean, what is that? Who's gonna be scared of that? Not that I want to scare people but...
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 02:53 pm (UTC)From:[Luka looks down at the thread curiously, inspecting how it's attached to his hand. It's like it's a real web, from a real spider.
Please accept the most heart-eyes look, Carter.]
You're like a jumping spider! Like you just--like a bunny, you just went sproing--
[He even makes the sound effect, utterly delighted. Carter, this is the cutest thing he has ever seen--]
I don't know, but I think you are very lucky.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 03:00 pm (UTC)From:[That's not hilarious, that's horrifying! ... But it would explain the thread.
Why are you looking at him like that.]
Lucky? What if I grow limbs or eyes or... or other spider things! I don't want that?!
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 03:05 pm (UTC)From:I mean yes, it's bad, and I hate them, but I also got used to them? You'd make a very cute spider. Even if you had extra arms or eyes.
[Carter if you were monstery he would find you equally as adorable. This will not stop him.
He moves close to him, and when he gets close, he reaches for his hand, trying to see where the thread connects, trying to link his hand to his.]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 03:37 pm (UTC)From:[At all. Now he's gonna have nightmares about additional limbs, great.
Carter sighs, looking down at their hands.]
Can you help me up?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-30 03:40 pm (UTC)From:[He pulls on his hand, trying to help him up.]
Of course.
[Is he grinning? He might be grinning.]